Create Your Own Happiness

As you all may know, the hot new book to read is E.L. James’ 50 Shades of Grey. Its caught most of it’s attention due to the “raunchy” side of the book and all the older women are ALL about it. So I decided to give it a try. Boy was I surprised…that I wasn’t too impressed with it.

Don’t get me wrong, the premise of the book is promising. We live in a hypersexualized society and just the notion of dirty sex gets a lot of people’s pulses throbbing. But let’s be real here. The book wasn’t THAT vulgar or raunchy. The smut novels that litter spinning racks at the airport are WAY worse. So this part of the book really didn’t phase or shock me. I think Marina and the Diamonds says it best in the song “Sex Yeah”. All the people my age or younger probably won’t be phased by the language and have seen and heard much worse.

But the part that DID semi hook me was the characters. I’m trying not to spoil anything, so I’ll keep it brief. The way that one of the main characters Ana gets under the super dark and domineering Christian and gets him to reveal part of his past was interesting. And the little asides that Ana has with her inner “goddess” and conscious is hilarious. James also adds a very interesting style of writing which is by including email messages. It took me a while but then I saw the emails have titles and sometimes Christian’s titles under his name would change. I thought that was genius. If you read it you’ll see.

So I guess I’m kind of torn. I don’t know if I want to read the rest of these books. I don’t know if the revealing of Christian’s character is strong enough to convince me to read on. One lady on the Bravo talk show Kathy, really summarized the book well. It’s a grown up Twilight and people over 30 will probably be the ones who really enjoy it. The innocent girl meets the bad boy with a dark secret and tries to come to terms with it. I think that’s what it is. I’ve been there done that with the Twilight books. And I’m not saying the book is bad by any means. Like before, I really like the elements of the individual characters and how they reveal themselves and grow. The writing is well done too, but I think the hype about it is a bit much. If you’re on the fence, I say at least read the first book. The ending will suffice if you feel a bit over it at the end.

Thoughts? Have you read them? Should I keep going?

As I sat with my friends in probably the trashiest bar scene in Edison Park last night, I pondered in my head as to why I wasn’t enjoying myself? It was definitely not the company, I love my friends to death. And there was alcohol in my hand, so it definitely wasn’t the drinks (Amaretto Stone Sours are my drink of choice if you ever want to try and pick me up). So what the hell was it? All the bros and cougars around us were having a gay ol’ time.

But then I realized how much I’ve grown up in just one year. As you know, I go to school, have a sick father (who is slowly getting back to normal), and I’m also a nanny. Juggling all of these things made me have to become a perfectionist of sorts. I’ve had to manage my time well and have to keep unexpected events to a minimum. Because:

Or could this the product of watching way too much reality TV? Is it not wanting to turn into the hot messes that I’ve grown to know and love (i.e. The Jersey Shore cast, New York, Tila, etc.)?  I catch myself looking down upon these people because they don’t seem to have limits or rules. They can get as trashed and have sex with whomever, and they seem to not care about the consequences, which is just such a foreign concept for me. The emulation of these people just seems so terrifying.

So the question is: am I just forcing myself to grow up too fast? Why am I so afraid to let my inhibitions go? Should I just let go of all the responsibilities in my life sometimes and just do whatever I want? Most likely not, because that just seems way too scary. I’m not going to become some sort of play boy over night, but I do need to work at acting my age, instead of trying to be a 40 year old man. Because God knows when I’m 40, it’ll feel like I’m 100.

It seems like just yesterday we were on the floor dancing our asses off not giving a damn what anyone said. But now we’re just sitting in bar booths staring at the gaggle of crazies judging them, but at the same time envying their carefree attitudes. So lets raise a glass to the drunken girl struggling to stand on the dance floor, or the guy who is wasted about to get into a fight. I both hate you, but secretly want to be you. Go figure.

A couple days ago, I was talking with a friend and we were talking about what my “true calling” was. I was of course bitching about the constant flow of medical personal coming into my house to check on my father (very unnecessary at this point), and she said maybe my calling is to be a physical therapist. I mean, it’s not a bad idea but like, I don’t see myself doing that or even want to.

So of course being the over thinker I am, I mulled over this concept of a “True Calling” for a couple of hours. Honestly, I’ve never really thought about being anything other than a teacher. I mean, I’ve had this idea of being a teacher since I was in at least 2nd grade. Since then though, I’ve really never thought about what the grown up me wants to do or likes.

It’s not until recently that I’ve thought about other paths in life. It was like the trauma of seeing death and losing a job was like a wake up call. It made me more focused and determined to get stuff done. To take my future in my hands and do what I want for a change instead of what people tell me I need to do. And I think these blogs that I run prove that. I’ve always loved the arts. I did theater in high school and I’ve always loved writing and listening to music. So when I had the idea for CYOH, I was just like:

I guess what I’m trying to say is, I see that there are options now. I’m 22 years old and have my whole life to find out what my “true calling” is (unless I get hit by a bus of course). And don’t worry Mom, I’m not changing my major any time soon. I’ve worked way too hard for that mess. I just want to be happy with what I do and not live in regret. That is my greatest fear: regret (and ventriloquist dummies).

It’s strange. This blog has got me to really do some soul searching and figure myself out. I can’t say I like it, but I think I need it. It is definitely long overdue.

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

So to celebrate us all making it out alive or if you graduated/are graduating, I’ve compiled a small playlist of 13 songs to get your summer started. It includes current hits, soon to be hits, and classics. I hope y’all are ready to twerk your asses off. YOU’RE A FREE BITCH, BABY!

And to those of you who aren’t in school or graduating…you can still twerk too. You deserve it.

Enjoy!

CYOH End of the Semester Playlist

1. Jump - Girls Aloud
2. Glamazon - Ru Paul
3. Call My Name - Cheryl Cole
4. Lights - Ellie Goulding
5. Only the Horses - Scissor Sisters
6. King of Hearts (Kanye West Remix) - Cassie
7. Let It Go - Dragonette
8. Power & Control - Marina and the Diamonds
9. Speak Up - Laidback Luke feat. Wynter Gordon
10. Pound the Alarm - Nicki Minaj
11. Where Have You Been - Rihanna
12. Scheiße - Lady Gaga
13. Party at a Rich Dude’s House - Ke$ha

Click HERE to pick it up!

I’ll admit it. I like to be in control. I’ve never really been one to share power, unless I know I can’t handle whatever the objective is. And these past two weeks have been really trying with my final group project for Chemistry.

It really shouldn’t have been as painstakingly difficult as my group members made it. They always planned meetings on days that I didn’t have to be at class. Luckily, I only live about 6.5 minutes away so it wasn’t THAT bad. But gas prices are ridic, y’all. And it took way too long for everyone to finally understand that I was in charge and am always right. And this was only two meetings. Luckily, most of them wised up and understood that I was the HBIC of this group.

Then of course there is the one member who is going to slack and ruin everything. This one guy, whom we’ll call Tom, was the weakest link. He came at the last five minutes of the meeting we had to decide what and how we would do this project on. And it was okay because he said he understood. Now Tom decided to wait until the last minute to send me all his info for Power Point slides and hold up the completion of the presentation. He also decided to come and HOUR AND 15 MINUTES late to our last meeting where we did a run through. Let’s just say I was already not pleased. The final straw was him trying to tell ME, whom has a father with kidney issues, that the adrenals and kidneys were the same thing. UM…

Luckily, we present tomorrow and I can put all this (mostly Tom and his ignorance) behind me. I don’t know if I’m just a perfectionist/control freak or if everyone is just dumb, but groups are not my thing. I can’t put my fate (my grades) in other peoples’ hands. Its just way too risky. If everyone would just understand how perfect I am, we’d all get A’s tbh.

2 more weeks for me guys. We’re almost at summer break and graduation for some of you! Fight on little ponies.

It is almost the end of the semester so you know what that means! Summer Vacation, summer job, swimming pools, scantily clad men and women, heat waves, you’re damn tuition needs to be paid.

A few days ago, I just coughed up $2,330 for my tuition (my wallet is still crying). Now for most parents reading, you’re like “Oh my gosh shut up. That is nothing! My kid who goes to (insert far away college here) is like a borjillion dollars more. [approximately]). Well that may be true, but I’m the one paying my tuition. And without a “real”/steady job, its a little hard. And some of my friends have helped me find “real jobs”, but no dice.

As some of you know, due to cuts, I lost my summer job which was most of my money for the summer. I’ve applied to at least 7 jobs and have got no response back. From some I’ve gotten “you need more experience!”. Hmm. How do I get such things? Luckily tax refund checks come soon. Which means all of that goes to the credit cards my tuition is on. That’s cute I guess. Not like I wanted a life or anything.

I’m not asking for pity or anything. I guess I just wanted to cool my jets (believe me, I was fuming when I had to pay this tuition). Its not easy trying to get educated y’all. Luckily I have parents who love me so much as to house me, feed me, and deal with my shenanigans so I have a place to call home. But being the materialistic person I am, inside I am MOURNING the loss of shopping and going out. But its kind of one of those life lessons, I guess. I’m always one for a challenge, so I know this bill will get paid off, even if I die trying. I ain’t finna play.

So I guess the only obvious answers to the job crisis are: stripper, hooker, or cage dancer. Maybe a combination of all the above? Into it.

And if you’re one of my fellow broke college students, STAY POSITIVE. It’ll all work out for us soon. Everything happens for a reason!

So over the weekend my cousin and I had some bonding time. We basically ate pizza and watched YouTube videos. BUT, we also played a game on the Wii. A singing game. AKA HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SING IT! I don’t know about you guys, but I used to be SO into it.

I mean do you remember the first time you heard “Start of Something New”? Oh my lord. The true love story of Gabriella Montez and Troy Bolton? DISNEY MAGIC. But lets be real, the true star was SHARPAY FUCKING EVANS. She was the biggest diva ever. And her like gay brother, even though he wasn’t because Disney would never touch that subject, Ryan? Hilarious. “Bop to the Top” was the best song to be honest. My favorite part of the movie was when V-Hudge sang “When There Was You and Me” and she just like traversed the entire neighborhood and sang her whole way home. I do it all the time. But of course the piece de resistance was “We’re All in This Together” because being friends, winning basketball games, getting the leads in a musical, and “Breaking Free” are what high school is all about. And you damn well know you tried doing that choreo when you saw the tutorial was on the DVD. (No? Just me? Ok.)

And don’t think Disney wouldn’t make bank of the cash cow by having a SEQUEL. Thats right, High School Musical 2. I actually liked this one the best. Mainly because Zac Efron finally sang his own songs. Speaking of Zac, remember when he sang “Bet On It” and like ran around a golf course that like turned into Alaska and a volcano? GOLD. The sequel showed Troy and Vanessa on the rocks again, but SPOILER: they got back together because they’re perfect. I just love that the whole story took place in a country club, with a SURPRISE: Talent show. “You Are the Music In Me” is still so great, but only the Sharpay version. Oh and Ryan started dating Kelsey. WAT. Whatever. Then they’re all friends again and dance at the pool in the end. Summer is great.

BUT WAIT. To finally close the HSM chapters, we find our favorite high schoolers getting ready to graduate. Honestly, this was probably the worst because I can’t remember it. I think Gabby decided she was like moving away for school, something about Prom, and she shows up and then there’s a musical involved (duh). The best scene and number was the “A Night to Remember” one. That is clearly how proms go down. Oh my lord and remember “Scream” when Efron decided to run around the school screaming? Jesus. It all ends with them graduating. Which is good, because knowledge is power.

There were more characters like Troy’s bestie Chad, played by Corbin Bleu, and Gabby’s bestie Taylor, who was smart. But they’re pretty irrelevant. Believe me, I don’t know why I got hooked on this, but I did. I wasn’t like completely obsessed, but I do own all three DVDs. DON’T JUDGE ME OKAY.

So I decided to start a separate music blog for CYOH because its just way too much to try and keep track of all of it for a week. And I’ve always wanted to start a music blog so its kind of like a dream come true haha. All music related things will be posted on here: http://cyohmusic.blogspot.com/

BUT WHAT OF THE BLOG POSTS?! - Don’t worry, I’m not deleting this. It will mainly be used to write about things. Please bare with me and keep following haha.

And if you have a Facebook, I am BEGGING you to like this: http://www.facebook.com/CreateYourOwnHappiness

It will have a complete list of all the stuff I post!

And follow me on Twitter, I promise I’m funny.

Thanks!

- L

We’ve all had to use this phrase in our shopping history. When customer service can sometimes just get so out of control that you really just want to say “GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME I DON’T NEED YOUR HELP I’M JUST BUYING SOAP. GOD.” Here is how an exchange usually goes down:

*Le looking for whatever I came to buy. Then all of a sudden, a wild team member appears!*

Employee: (all perky) HI CAN HELP YOU FIND ANYTHING TODAY?!
Me: (Jesus..where did they come from..) Uh no thank you. I’m just looking.
Employee: (All depressed) Oh…well if you need anything feel free to ask!
Me: Mmmkay.

(Mind you, this happened to my friend Robert and I three times in a matter of the 10 minutes we were in the game section. Two times by the same woman.)

This usually happens in a store like Best Buy where they’re clearly looking to do anything to look busy. They usually prey on little old ladies or parents in the electronics/video games sections because these people have no clue as to what they should be buying. Later on of course they get conned into buying the super, deluxe, limited edition, quantites are limited games, CDs, or DVDs. Or the brand new HD 4D TV that also doubles as a refrigerator or something crazy like that. But the absolute WORST people are GameStop employees (Note: this really happened) :

*Looking for le game. AHA! Found it. Better get in line..)

Cashier: Hey how are you? Did you find everything okay?
Me: Yeah thanks.
Cashier: Do you have a GameStop rewards card with us?
Me: Nope.
Cashier: Well if you sign up for $15 you can get a subscription to Game Informer and get a bajillion points for your purchase today. You also get 15% off of strategy guides and used games!
Me: Mmm..no thanks. Not today.
Cashier: Oh…are you sure?
Me: Yeah I’m sure thanks.
Cashier: Okay…well I see you bought a (insert system platform here) game. Would you like to pre-order Game A, Game B, or Game C?
Me: Uh no. Not today.
Cashier: Oh…are you sure? Its only $5 deposit that you can cancel anytime if you change your mind.
Me: (Getting hella pissed already) *smiles* UHM NO THANKS. MAYBE ANOTHER TIME.
Cashier: But you should do it soon because it comes with a special bonus if you pre-order. And we could run out of copies if you don’t pre-order now!
Me: I’ll take my chances.
Cashier: …well if you want, there’s a binder full of other games to pre-order if you want.
Me: NO THANK YOU.
Cashier: ….
Me: ….
Cashier:…
Me: …
Cashier: Your total is $43.59 today.

I MEAN REALLY?! JESUS. IT TOOK ME 25 MINUTES TO GET OUT TO BUY ONE GAME. I DON’T WANT YOUR OTHER DAMN GAMES RIGHT NOW. The only reason I was there was because the game I wanted sold out on Amazon. Pretty sure GameStop orders enough copies to last them a while. The only time an item should run out is around the holidays.

And of course when you really need someone, like in grocery stores, you can never find these people. So I have to search for some quinoa for a good 20 minutes before I can track down an employee. Or when I need to find out if my shoe size is in the back, nobody is around.

Have you guys ever gotten into these exchanges? Worse ones?

Music News:

I think its safe to say you know how much I ADORE Lana Del Rey (if not check this). Last Tuesday, the songstress tweeted the single cover (above) for her next single “Blue Jeans”. FYI, ITS MY FAVORITE SONG (yes, its changed since the last post). We may also be getting a new video for the song too! CANNOT HANDLE. So glad this song is getting the single treatment.

Allegedly these are some stills from Drake’s upcoming video with Rihanna for “Take Care”. I honestly ADORE the song. And they look so effing cute. I love hugs. I wonder if that is the whole video though? Hope its not too boring.

Speaking of videos, Nicki Minaj is currently shooting her video for “Starships”! Above you can see Nicki walking around in a pink bikini on the beach. Good lord. Her butt. I still can’t get over how like large it is. Love the song and stoked for the video.

Nicki also reveled the tracklisting for upcoming album Roman Reloaded:

1. Roman Holiday

2. Come On A Cone

3. I Am Your Leader Feat. Cam’ron & Rick Ross

4. Beez In The Trap Feat. 2 Chainz

5. HOV Lane

6. Roman Reloaded Feat. Lil Wayne

7. Champion Feat. NAS, Drake & Young Jeezy

8. Right By My Side Feat. Chris Brown

9. Sex In the Lounge Feat. Lil Wayne & Bobby V

10. Starships

11. Pound The Alarm

12. Whip It

13. Automatic

14. Beautiful Sinner

15. Marilyn Monroe

16. Young Forever

17. Fire Burns

18. Gun Shot Feat. Beenie Man

19. Stupid Hoe

Deluxe Edition

20. Turn Me On

21. Va Va Voom

22. Masquerade

New Music/Videos:

AJNSAANFEWKJEF “PRIMADONNA” IS UPON US! If you haven’t been following my tweets or FB posts (which you should..), you know I am BEYOND OBSESSED. The Dr. Luke produced track is like nothing thats being bombarded at us via the radio and thank the gods. Its completely different from The Family Jewels and I’m okay with that. This is clearly Electra Heart taking over. And don’t even get me started on the video. SHES GORGEOUS. AND ORANGE PICKING? GENIUS. PLAYING WITH TURTLES? Kinda gross. But the real question here is: Where can I get those giant chandeliers? My favorite part/line of the song has to be:  “I know I’ve got a big ego, I really don’t know why its such a big deal though.” One, because its so true. Twinsies. And two, because it kind of sounds like “I know I’ve got a big ego, I really don’t know why its such a big dildo.” WAT?!

Little J and her band (AKA The Pretty Reckless) recently released their video for “My Medicine”! It takes us on a wonderful acid-y trip through a house party. Gotta love some good old fashioned sex, drugs, and rock n roll. My only complaint is the braiding going on in her hair. HHHWHAT IS THAT? Keep long and flow-y, T-Mom. This has always been one of my favorite tracks from the Pretty Reckless and glad it got a video.

A slew of previews of Katy Perry’s new songs from the re-release of her smash  “Teenage Dream” have finally surfaced. The songs include “Dressin’ Up” and “Wide Awake”. There is also some sort of megamix. Sorry, Katy Cats, but I’m not impressed at all. “Part of Me” is still mah jam, but these songs aren’t blowing my mind. Madge is coming. She needs to step it up. You can currently pre-order The Complete Confection on iTunes now.

Ms. Perry also released the trailer for the video for her single “Part of Me”. Its showing us some G.I. Jane realness here. I’m wondering what in the world could possibly go down. Is she gonna play a boy? WILL JO CALDERONE MAKE A CAMEO AND THEN THEY DUKE IT OUT?! Oh lordy lordy. Kind of excited for this since this song is like my favsies right now.

I feel like I’ve been talking about Carrie Underwood for about three weeks straight. THAT CARRIE REIGN JUST WON’T LET UP! (no? okay…) Miss Underwood released the video for her latest single “Good Girl”! Its actually kind of boring, but I like the whole good girls vs. bad girl thing going on and she looks absolutely FLAWLESS. Her outfits are spot on. Get it, girl!

I’m sure I’m gonna get flack for this, BUT…I’m obsessed with One Direction. Now before you judge me, I was once jaded too. But the boy band just gives me life like some of these pop divas can’t! Since Gaga has recently gone into hiding, I’ve had no choice but to listen to other music! I’M SORRY!

Back to 1D. I don’t know what is about them, but the music is just infectious. My favorite track has to be the title track “Up All Night”. “I wanna stay up all night and find a girl and tell her shes the one!” announces the band of young gentlemen that I’m sure has all the pre-teen girls losing their minds. That being said, I really don’t have a least favorite on the album. So before you knock it, I suggest you take a listen. Did I forget to mention that in a matter of like 5 mins both the standard and deluxe versions of the album went to #1 on iTunes? Jesus. You can find their album on iTunes now.

Another week, another Madonna leak. This time we got a snippet of “Superstar” which is going to allegedly featuring vocals from Lourdes! WAT. This has to be my least favorite of the snippets so far. I do like the “Ooh la la, you’re my superstar..” part though. MDNA just needs to leak already, lets be real.

Here we have a slower ballad-y type song called “Falling Free”. Its being compared to “Ray of Light” and I’m okay with this. It sounds like something she should be singing surrounded by angels with harps. Into it.

OOH LA LA. We have another song entitled “I Don’t Give A” featuring miss Minaj. THIS IS AMAZING. Its a big F U anthem to all the bad things in life. So clearly its going to be my jam. I don’t even know which genre to classify this is. THATS HOW MAJOR IT IS. And did she say “Baby Jesus on the stairs” at the beginning? LOLWAT. CAN WE HAVE MDNA ALREADY?!

Oh snap. “Beautiful Killer”. It has this sexy espionage feel. I feel like it would be in a Charlie’s Angels movie. Its definitely one of my favorites at the moment! “Can’t really talk with a gun in my mouth…” UGH MY BODY IS MELTING.

ASJDHASDHDS A FULL SONG. Here is “I Fucked Up”. Its another slow song and will be on the deluxe version of MDNA. The first half is kinda lame, but I’m ALL ABOUT the second part! Its like so sad though. Jesus. I’ll buy a house with a pool and horses with you, Madge!

SO MANY SNIPPETS. “Best Friend” came out Sunday and I’m kinda not feeling it. I really don’t know what to say. This one just seems annoying and it needs to lay off the autotune just a smidgen.

Gossip is back, ladies and gents! The new single is called “Perfect World” and Ms. Ditto sounds flawless. I’m not gonna BS you and pretend I’ve been a huge Gossip fan, but I have loved what I’ve heard from them and Beth’s solo project. When she moans out “Befo-OOOOH-re” really just seals the deal for this song. Its so good. Definitely check this one out.

Do any of you watch Weeds? WELL, if you do, you’re in for a treat! Silas Botwin Hunter Parrish is set to release an album soon! Here is his track called “Sitting at Home”. The lyrics are kind of cheesy, but I LOVE his voice. Cannot wait to see what else he has to offer.

Taylor Swift fans rejoice! Her second track from the Hunger Games soundtrack has been released! Its called “Eyes Wide Open” and its really different from her usual country business. Honestly, I like “Safe and Sound” SO much better though. To each his own.

Cascada’s “Summer of Love” video has surfaced! Is it anything mind blowing? Absolutely not. Natalie and a mob of dancers pretty much have an ever moving dance party. We start at a car and end up at the beach. I never really have high expectations for their videos, but I do LOVE the song. It is growing on me so hard.

SNAP. Timbaland is back! He released his new single “Break Ya Back” and will serve as his first single for his upcoming album Shock Value III. It features Dev and is NOT doing the whole club/dance route most Top 40 artists are taking. Kinda into it. Its got this really sexy gritty vibe to it.

After releasing stills all last week, Lana Del Rey’s video for “Blue Jeans” leaked last night. Can we talk about how perfect it is? Its so beautiful. I mean, shes walking around in a bikini and then swims with alligators in a pool? When will your faves ever? Check it out. So gorgeous.